The rowing machine represents good, honest gym work. There’s no hiding from it. Working as a personal trainer, my clients and I spent a lot of time on the rower—dialling in technique, building fitness, and getting stronger. During one session, a client turned to me and said, “I love how strong my legs feel rowing now.” It was a genuine win, and I was stoked to hear that they were proud of their progress.

Riding high on the rower success, we made our way to the weight room for some upper-body exercises. With mirrors across the walls, they stopped, looked themself over and said, “I hate the way I look.” Raw, unexpected, and honest. I didn’t know what to say. Together, we stood there in silence.

This person wasn’t a fan of their appearance, an unfortunate truth that many others are also burdened with. However, this person also felt genuinely proud of what their body could do, along with how it made them feel. Both of those conflicting things were true—a reality of body image we so often miss.

“I hate the way I look” is a heavy sentence, particularly when it’s said with that kind of finality, which undoubtedly carries some very real history. Left alone, these types of thoughts and feelings can take over. So I pointed out that over a few minutes they’d had two very different body image experiences. Calling out the conflict took some of the pressure off because it showed the mirror comment wasn’t the whole story. This is a reason why paying attention to our whole body image experience matters.

Taking a holistic view isn’t a silver bullet in itself, but it reminds us that body image experiences can change; no single experience gets to define the entire relationship we have with our body, and it also broadens our focus to the positives we can lean into when the negatives get louder and land harder.

There’s certainly work to do on how this person sees themselves in a mirror, and finding such body image experiences to unpack on one’s own may not always come easily. Nevertheless, there’s a liberating potential, somewhat perversely, in simply knowing that “I hate the way I look” isn’t the only body image experience at play. It’s one experience, in a particular moment, of a much bigger story.

This blog sets the scene for what happened: one person experienced two very different ways of relating to their body within minutes. In the next blog, we’ll explore why the rowing machine and the mirror may have invited different body image experiences. Then we’ll tackle the final question: what now—what can we do to cultivate more helpful body image experiences when the difficult ones arise?

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This article does not constitute personalised advice or professional consultation. For personalised assistance, please consult with a relevant professional. The opinions expressed are solely my own and do not necessarily reflect any organisation’s or individual’s views.